Well it is finally the end of one year and almost a New Year. This year for us has really been a hectic one. In fact it has not been my favorite year however their has been a few good things to come out of it. I say it has not been my favorite year because it has had a lot of lows in it, a lot of uncertainty. It started off on january 4h when I lost my favorite cousin to the war, shortly after that my husband was laid off quite unexpectedly, then Trix and his seizure and subsequent hospitlization, ( I know I have talked a lot about that this year...please forgive me it really rocked me to the core...I am still trying to get over the nightmares),I felt as if Honey Nut and Lucky Charms kind of got lost in the shuffle of all the panic over Trix and his medical and sensory issues this year as well.I think that is it for the lows. However there have been some really good things as well. Through all of the lows I realized that God was doing a lot of overhaul and work in my life. I noticed quite quickly that when hubs got laid off so unexpectedly that although initially I panicked, I very quickly relaxed and felt a sense of peace while he was searching for work. Normally I would have panicked the entire time, he was out of work for about two months and since he is the major breadwinner that is a long time. I somehow knew everything would work out ok. It did he got a new job at a great company that has been around for awhile. Almost everyone at the company he went to work for has been there for years and when I say that I am talking 10 and above people. That is hard to find these days. It was also a blessing that he was laid off when he was because he normally would have been gone for the day already when Trix needed medical help..I was in a complete panic and just dont' know what i would have done without him there. He is such a strong man. I shudder to think it was a possibility that if he was not home at the time Trix might not be here today and that is an inconceivable thought for any parent including my husband. The company he is with was so impressed with his interview that they came up an insane amount in pay just to hire him on. They love hubs at this company ( I may be a bit partial here but it shows they have great taste)I know he will be here for a long time. God took care of us both financially and emotionally this year. I felt all year long as if he was doing some serious overhauling in my life and my families life as well. For instance Hubs has even started coming to church with us once in awhile. We are talking about a guy who is just not a church guy and I have prayed and prayed and prayed about it. He is coming around...albeight slowly but in the way God is working him too. For me the biggest struggle this year is learning to turn my life completely over to God. It is not easy for me to give up control especially when it comes to my children. I am their Mommy and I have always been a "fixer" by nature and that instinct in me just got stronger when I became a Mom. So when I started realizing that I am supposed to turn over my control to God well that did not sit well with me. I have actually really struggled with that but am slowly releasing control. I released control to him when hubs was laid off and when I did that Hubs got a really good job, good things came out of a time when most people can only see the bad side of it. I released control when Trix was in the hospital...actually on his way to the hospital...I was driving behind the ambulance and praying feverishly to God and told him I am turning Trix over to him and to please take care of him...he did. In 95% of all seizures...they can tell you had one but cannot tell you what caused it. They were able to pinpoint a cause for Trix that is a rarity, another way he took care of him...that seizure lasted 40 minutes...that usually causes some sort of brain damage...Trix did not have any of that.
After everything settled down a bit and back into routine for which I was grateful...I was surprised as anyone when I realized God was not finished overhauling my life! And people say he has no sense of humor. :) He does. I started hearing a call to change my career. huh? what? I was settled in homeschooling and running a daycare out of my home. But although God wants me to continue to homeschool (a fact I am so grateful he is still calling me to do)and I know he wants me to have a lot more time with Honey Nut and Lucky Charms as well,he has been gently leading me into another area. Life Coaching. I am slowly but surely working on that.
No I will not be a counselor, I will however be someone that will help people set goals, be a listening tool for them when they figure out how they want to make their lives better then they already are, help them achieve what they want to. He is using this as a way for me to better my life too! Life coaches do a lot of learning along the way. The best part about it is that I can do it from home so I am still able to be with the kids. I am nervous financially. It will take some time to build my business. I told the parents in my daycare that I was closing in June, however I told them earlier then I probably should have to give them adequate time. Mainly the special needs family I have, well that was a little silly because they all found someone starting in January instead of June! I had planned all along to keep one family who really fit in with us and whose parents really had a hard time finding good childcare, so I still have that family and that is great. But my income in a couple weeks will be less then half what I was making! Acck! Oh well I will break out the coupons, re-budget, and trust that when God closes one door he always opens another. I am sure he had a reason for this season in my life to end a little earlier then I planned. Again there I go with trying to control it...I am still struggling to learn to turn over complete control to him. I will say at first when the families told me they had found other care sooner...I was a bit stressed and worried. Even though they all had asked me seperately if I could just keep their families only for childcare. But then I looked back at 2007 and all the ways God helped me and carried me through a less then stellar year. Then I relaxed more and again have that same sense of peace that he gave me earlier this year. So my realization here is that I have a feeling that 2008 is going to be GREAT!
I hope all of you have a safe and happy New Year. If you read this far...here is a cyber brownie for you.
The Cheerio Queen
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